What you might see in your child
After something frightening, it's common for kids to have trouble sleeping, nightmares, new fears, clinginess, stomachaches, irritability, trouble focusing, startling at loud noises, or acting younger than their age. Teens may pull away or seem fine on the outside. These are normal reactions to an abnormal event, and for most children they ease with time, routine and support.
What helps at home
- Keep routines. Regular meals, bedtimes and small daily rituals help kids feel safe again.
- Listen more than you talk. Let your child lead. Answer questions simply and honestly, at their age level. It's okay to say "I don't know."
- Name feelings, including your own. Kids take their cues from us. It's okay for them to see you sad, as long as they also see you coping.
- Limit news and social media, for them and for you.
- Make room for play and movement. Drawing, building, running and playing are how many kids work through hard things.
- Take care of yourself. Your own rest and support are part of your child's healing.
When to get more help
Reach out to a counselor or your child's doctor if reactions are intense, keep getting worse, or last more than a few weeks, or if your child talks about hurting themselves or seems unable to function at home or school. If you are worried about safety right now, call or text 988.
Help is available at no cost through Oregon Crime Victims' Compensation, and Deschutes County Behavioral Health has counselors at our events. Email hello@silverrailchildrensfund.org and we'll help you find someone.
Trusted guides
- Parent Guidelines for Helping Youth After the Recent Shooting (National Child Traumatic Stress Network)
- School shooting resources for families (National Child Traumatic Stress Network)
- Helping Your Children Manage Distress in the Aftermath of a Shooting (SAMHSA)
- Managing distress in the aftermath of a shooting (American Psychological Association)
- How to Talk to Children About Mass Shootings (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry)
Call or text anytime
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, 24/7, in English and Spanish.
- Disaster Distress Helpline: call or text 1-800-985-5990, 24/7, for anyone struggling after a traumatic event.
Paperwork, leave and costs
Crime Victims' Compensation can cover counseling and, with a doctor's note, some lost wages. Our step-by-step CVC guide includes tips from Silver Rail parents who have been approved. Paid Leave Oregon and federal FMLA may also apply; check with your employer or those programs. Silver Rail parents who have been through the process are glad to help. Email hello@silverrailchildrensfund.org.